


Customs Dictate a Lot of Things but You're Still Drinking Milk at a Pub

by victoriousscarf



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ireland, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-26 07:11:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/963073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victoriousscarf/pseuds/victoriousscarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“There’s no one I’m happy to see tonight,” McCoy grumbled instead. “Besides, I’m never happy to see you.” </p><p>“I’d be more wounded if I thought you meant that,” Kirk laughed. </p><p>“I’ll just get you the usual then,” McCoy said, shaking his head and looking over at the newcomer. “And what can I get you?”</p><p>“A glass of milk, please,” the man said and McCoy blinked at him, and blinked again to make sure someone was actually sitting in his pub asking for a glass of milk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Customs Dictate a Lot of Things but You're Still Drinking Milk at a Pub

**Author's Note:**

> Originally inspired by seeing a sign for "McCoy's Pub" in a small Irish village years ago while traveling. Sadly, I never could get a functional picture of it.

McCoy had nothing to complain about in his life.

He was not where he expected he would end up, all those years ago in med school and freshly married. Of course he was no longer married either, as his darling wife had turned out to be slightly less darling and more interested in social positions and reputations and she had taken his money and his respectability and his heart and his daughter in the divorce. But his daughter made even those harsh memories worth it in the end.

Of course he was no longer a doctor either, having walked out of that life and lost his position there too.

So he had lost his wife and he had lost his job and generally everything he once had considered important.

At least Joanna had never changed her last name and visited him when she could.

Other than those things, there was nothing to complain about. He owned his own pub, with a small apartment above it and he lived on the west coast of Ireland in a beautiful country with great employees.

Except when Wimbleton came around.

Then suddenly he and Riley scrambled around the pub, trying to feed the throngs watching the telly, Uhura and Scotty glued the closest to it. Scotty was taking bets and Uhura was informing him that she was far too dignified for such things and she would win anyway and then he’d sulk for a week and no one had the time for that.

McCoy muttered under his breath he didn’t have the time for Wimbleton in that case as the door opened, Kirk shaking rain water out of his hair, a tall and slender figure behind him. “Bones!” James Kirk said, spreading his arms out and McCoy pushed him away before he could swoop in for an enthusiastic embrace.

“None of that Jim,” he said, shoving him toward a small table in the back.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” Kirk asked, tilting his head back and grinning, the man who came in with him sitting down across from him after considering the chair skeptically.

“There’s no one I’m happy to see tonight,” McCoy grumbled instead. “Besides, I’m never happy to see you.”

“I’d be more wounded if I thought you meant that,” Kirk laughed.

“I’ll just get you the usual then,” McCoy said, shaking his head and looking over at the newcomer. “And what can I get you?”

“A glass of milk, please,” the man said and McCoy blinked at him, and blinked again to make sure someone was actually sitting in his pub asking for a glass of milk.

“What?” he asked lamely and Kirk laughed.

“Bones, this is Spock, one of my co-workers. I thought he could use a little relaxation, get the ambience a bit more. He just transferred from, where was it again?”

“Japan, last,” Spock said. “Why do you call this man Bones?”

Kirk laughed and McCoy shook his head. “When I met him, he was going to be a doctor, so I called him old sawbones.”

Spock turned his dark eyes up to McCoy. “That does not appear to have worked out for you.”

“No, it rather didn’t,” McCoy snapped and the man sitting blinked before arching a single brow up. McCoy was not sure he ever met someone who could so perfectly arch an eyebrow, or come close to matching his own expression.

“So he’s Bones,” Kirk shrugged, still laughing at McCoy without actually making much sound at all. “Actually, Bones, might as well bring me two drinks, along with that glass of milk.”

“I will not drink it,” Spock said, looking over at him.

“No, they’re both for me,” Kirk said, leaning back in the chair and kicking out his feet and McCoy just shook his head as he walked back to the bar, where Riley was looking harassed and Scotty was yelling something at the tennis players who would be utterly unable to hear him.

He just could not figure out how a man who did not drink could be friends with James T. Kirk.

-0-

“Next year, I’m hiring extra help,” McCoy groaned, leaning back and Riley laughed tiredly from where he was sprawled out on the bar, Uhura and Scotty helpfully sweeping and washing the glasses. “Because you two are utterly useless.”

“We’re not useless,” Scotty protested, head snapping up.

“Yes you are,” McCoy said. “I’m just glad it’s over now.”

“It’s just once a year,” Uhura laughed, blowing a kiss at him that he waved away with another grumble. “And we clean up afterwards.”

“Which is why you’ll all have jobs tomorrow,” he said, tilting his head back until he could stare at the ceiling.

“Much appreciated, Bones,” Scotty said and he slung the towel he used for drying the glasses over his shoulder.

Groaning, McCoy pushed himself to his feet. “Why did you have to pick up Jim’s nickname?”

“Because it suits you,” Scotty shrugged and caught McCoy under one elbow. “Now come on, let’s get you up to bed before you pass out like one of your drunks.”

“The drunks are so not mine,” McCoy said, shaking his head as Riley started to sing under his breath from where he was still lying on the bar. “Don’t go to sleep there.”

In the morning when McCoy came down,  Riley was passed out exactly where they’d left him, so McCoy made him coffee with cream and sent him out the door.

-0-

Spock became a regular at McCoy’s pub it seemed by accident. Every night Kirk strolled in, looking smug and flirting like a gentleman with all the ladies, Spock trailed after him and asked for his glass of milk. Soon enough everyone knew who he was, even Sulu and Chekov who worked down the street and often came in together. Except he was not a regular like the other regulars, and McCoy was spending a whole lot more money on milk than he usually did.

Sulu walked in and promptly tried to convince both Riley and Chekov that fencing was the best way to stay in shape, not to mention it added a certain charm and drama to everyday life.

“Just don’t try to fence on the hills,” Chekov said. “You’ll get lost and probably break your leg.”

“And fall on your sword,” Riley added, towel flung over his shoulder.

“Foil,” Sulu corrected cheerfully.

Riley and Chekov exchanged a glance over his head. “I thought it was botany last week?” Riley asked.

“Oh don’t worry,” Chekov said. “No one’s love for plants has flagged either.”

Laughing from where he stood behind the bar, McCoy glanced up when he say the door open. He blinked in surprise when Spock entered without Kirk. “Is Jim coming later?” McCoy asked and a flicker of an expression went across Spock’s face so fast that McCoy did not catch what it might have been.

“No,” Spock said, sitting at the bar. “Only myself.”

“Milk?” McCoy asked, already reaching for a glass.

“Actually I was wondering if you had orange juice,” Spock said and McCoy froze, unsure which way to go.

“I might have some upstairs,” he said finally, as Uhura often did his shopping for him, often recruiting Christine to make sure he was actually eating proper food. Sometimes McCoy really hated the pair of them but then Scotty would start leaving food out around the pub at places he knew McCoy frequented and McCoy just declared them all part of a conspiracy.

They just informed him he would forget to breath if he was not reminded.

“That would be wonderful,” Spock said and McCoy gestured to Riley before he retreated to his apartment to see if there was, in fact, orange juice anywhere on the premises. Finding some hidden in a corner he checked the date before hoofing it back downstairs.

“So why’d you come here alone?” McCoy asked, pouring the juice and Spock nodded in what McCoy hoped was thanks as he took it.

“I find you fascinating,” he said and McCoy gaped at him.

-0-

Hours later McCoy was still ranting. “And apparently I’m fascinating. Fascinating! Stupid bastard with his bloody damned orange juice!”

“He probably meant it as a compliment,” Uhura said, cleaning the bar down for the night.

“Aye,” Scotty agreed from back where he was taking inventory. “I suspect that man doesn’t find much fascinating.”

“Fascinating,” McCoy repeated under his breath. “Fascinating. Bastard.”

-0-

Suddenly McCoy found himself stocking orange juice, hot chocolate and milk more than he ever had before. “Why don’t you drink?” he asked ,the third night Spock came in without Kirk and Spock looked up in what on anyone else would look like surprise.

“I do not prefer it,” Spock said and McCoy scowled.

“You do realize you’re a regular at a pub, right?”

“You consider me a regular?” Spock asked and McCoy suddenly had other customers that needed his immediate attention, even though no one new had walked through the door.

When Kirk found out Spock was coming without him, his eyes started twinkling and all he said was “Oh.” Once again, McCoy was certain that he was being laughed at, even though Kirk did not make a sound.

-0-

McCoy was cursing everyone who ever worked for him as he dragged the garbage out back in the snow. There was not much snow, just enough to dust his hair and make the ground treacherous and really, he hated the holiday season anyway. Everyone was so damn cheery and Riley and Kirk had taken to singing carols in harmony at odd moments.

Even though he was not much interested in being out in the cold, he decided he wanted to be inside even less and stomped around to the front, blowing on his hands and muttering under his breath. His angry litany came to an abrupt stop when he saw Spock coming down the street.

There were flecks of snow in his dark hair and for some reason McCoy paid more attention to them than he felt snow deserved. “I don’t know why you find my fascinating,” he said and Spock came to a stop in front of him.

“I believe usual customs dictate saying hello when you first see someone,” Spock said and McCoy snorted.

“I just don’t get why you keep coming around for orange juice,” McCoy said, and hated the holidays more than ever. “It’s cheaper at the store and I’m not fascinating. I’m a middle age man who’s bitter and who’s daughter only comes around on the weekends when she’s not busy in school work, I don’t have an interesting wife, I don’t have an interesting life story, what is it with you and coming around?”

“Because I do find you fascinating,” Spock said and McCoy actually stomped a foot on the ground.

“Why?” he snapped and Spock rocked slightly back on his heels, the motion so slight someone might have missed it if they were not watching him like a put out, bitter hawk. On the forward motion he leaned down and pressed a faint kiss to McCoy’s mouth before straightening back into his perfect posture.

“What?” McCoy managed stupidly and Spock arched a brow at him. “You caught the divorced part right? The I cannot make relationships work thing?”

“I do not believe that we have ever tried,” Spock said. “Now may I please come in and have a glass of milk?”

“You had better prove you can kiss a lot better than that,” McCoy said instead. “Have some passion, man!”

That caused both of Spock’s brows to go up and he set about trying to prove exactly how much better he could kiss until the door burst open, Scotty and Kirk spilling out.

“Uhura just punched Riley’s foster father in the face and the entire place is—” Scotty was saying and Kirk noticed what was going on sooner, whistling and giving a cheer. “Well, that’s _fascinating_ ,” Scotty drawled.

“I will fire you,” McCoy warned, stomping inside to pry Uhura off the man in question, Riley already hiding in the back room.

“No you won’t,” Scotty said, following him inside, a much more sedate Spock on his heels though there was a faint flush to his high cheekbones as Kirk hovered around him, pestering him for details.

“I should,” McCoy muttered. “But I suppose I won’t,” he added, watching Spock and Kirk sit at a back table, Spock’s eyes following his movements.

They looked almost warm and fond.

Perhaps McCoy had less to complain about than he sometimes thought.

That warm buzz lasted just long enough to reach the yelling mess in the middle of his pub.

He had _everything_ to complain about in his life. 

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to try my hand at a shorter AU verse but there was a lot of side story that I've come up for this fic. Such as the fact I've always oddly shipped Riley with Kyle--ergo why Uhura often ends up punching Riley's foster father (as his and Kirk's parents were killed) in the face for daring to bitch about Riley dating another man.
> 
> I've also been oddly fond of the pairing of Uhura and Chapel for a while now which is partly why they team up to make sure McCoy's eating.


End file.
